my drug of choice is adrenaline // zui

[*MERCEDES NOELLE ROUSSEAU!]

Mercedes had to admit, it was weird being the first one up on the bus. Usually, she was out partying late with the band, barely making it into the bus before she completely passed out, sleeping pretty far into the afternoon unless there was an early show planned. The night before, though, she hadn't really been in the mood to go out; something that was pretty rare on her part. Part of her wondered if it was a strange case of homesickness, though that made no since. What did she have to miss from Australia? Her abusive mother that she hasn't seen in eight years or her "too busy" dad, that probably hasn't even noticed she had left yet? The only friends she really had from back there were her bandmates, who were currently residing in the same exact bus as her. Though a case of homesickness didn't seem very likely, she couldn't think of any other reason why she had felt so down the night before. Whatever it was, it didn't bug her for too long seeing as right after everyone left she took some benedryl, knowing that it only took half an hour for it to make her fall asleep. Sure, it may not be her brightest idea to use allergy medication to put herself to sleep, but it wasn't like she was overdosing on it or anything. Besides, the stuff worked. She slept twelve hours straight with no disturbances; not even when the band got back from their night out.

Though she had slept so long, she still felt completely exhausted. Mercedes had tried falling back asleep, but all it resulted was a bored anxiety to bother her. She was one of those people that had to have something to do, and lying down while doing nothing just didn't do it for her. Instead, she pulled herself out of bed, being as quiet as she could as she made her way towards the front of the bus. Luckily for her, most of the band had crashed towards the back of the bus. That, or the majority of them hadn't even made it back. Either way, Mercedes really didn't care enough to look, instead just focusing on what she wanted. Once she was at the front of the bus, she went to the front, reaching under the drivers side chair to pull out her sketch book. It wasn't that Mercedes was hiding the fact that she drew from the rest of the band; in fact, she was pretty positive all of them had seen her sketching at some point or another. No, the reason for hiding her sketchbook was because she didn't exactly want anyone seeing what she drew. When she drew, she didn't think of something and just draw it. She sort of left her sub counscious mind take over, doodleing whatever things floated to the front of her mind at the time. Sometimes those things were sort of cool, but other times, they were sort of disturbing. Sure, she could have just ripped them out, threw them out, and been done with it, but she didn't want to do that. After all, they were things that came from her mind, so why should she be afraid of them? Othes....well, that was a different story, which was why the book was hidden. Sure, she knew there was a good chance someone on the bus had seen her drawings before, but none of them had never confronted her on it, not wanting her to go off on them for intruding into her business. This worked for her, seeing as she was unsure of how to explain some of the things that she had drawn.

Before sitting down, she ran back to her bunk and grabbed her blanket, bringing back up so she could have something to snuggle with. Once getting back to the front of the bus, she sat in the drivers side chair, wrapping herself up in her blanket before grabbing her sketchbook, grabbing a pencil out of the spiral, and opening it up to a blank page. Once their, she let her mind take over, her current thoughts and emotions coming alive on the page infront of her. Around an hour later, she stopped draing, and actually took the opportunity to really see what she had drawn. Once again, she was surprised and how strange her drawing was. In the picture, was a little girl, surrounded by a city burning in huge flames. Though the city was in the midst of burning down, there was still tons of terrible events going on; two men fighting, a child by itself crying, a girl holding a knife up to her wrist, just centimetes away from breaking the skin. Though there were so many strange and terrible things going on, there was one thing that upset her the most. It was obvious that the girl who was surrounded by all of this was seeing every inch of it, but she stood there, the expression on her face no different then one of someone casual sitting around, talking to a friend. It seemed like the girl thought that everything was perfectly normal, even with all the disastourous events that were happening. Mercedes slowly shut her notebook, unsure of what to think. Just as easily as she had pulled it out, she stuck the notebook back under the seat before sitting back in the drivers seat, looking out the front window of the bus, her mind really not going anywhere; she really wasn't one to overthink things.

After a minuet of sitting there doing nothing, she got a random craving for a cigarette. She slowly unwrapped herself from her blanket, throwing it on the passanger seat before getting up, making her way back into the bus. Quickly, she grabbed some clothes, changing right there, not caring if anyone woke up and saw her. Afterall, she really didn't care if anyone there saw her naked; she wasn't embarassed about her body like some girls were. After changing, she grabbed her pack of cigarettes and a lighter before walking back to the front of the bus. She quickly slipped on a black pair of flats and her black hoddie that were conviently located by the door before leaving the bus. Once she stepped outside, a cool brezze hit her face, nipping at her skin some. She didn't mind though; she found it sort of relaxing. Reaching into her pocket, she grabbed out the back of cigarettes, taking one out and holding it between her lips as she quickly stuck the pack back in her pocket and grabbed the lighter. She adjusted the cigarette before flicking the lighter, watching the flame rise before bringing it up to her mouth, sucking in until she felt smoke start to fill her mouth. She pulled the cigarette out and exhaled, watching the smoke float into the air. She stuck the lighter back into her pocket before taking another drag of her cigarette, and started walking away from her bus. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she knew there was nothing wrong with aimless walks. She continued walking, taking drags out of her cigarette, and feeling herself loosen some as the toxic chemicals made their way through her.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

ooc - lalala
tagged - zui
words - 1209
outfit - click!
inspiration - i have to go return some videotapes; breathe carolina

[*ZUI NIXON PHOENIX!]

``ZUI NIXON PHOENIX

[/font][/color][/size]

AND THAT'S JUST THE PRICE I PAY
when i don't even know her name
SHE'S SLIPPING AWAY

If life was a dream, then Zui would be fucked. A throbbing headache came from the damn fight she was in earlier. Her hands were scratched up from beating up a brick wall. Her knuckles were split open and bleeding rather....badly. Sighing lightly Zui got up from her bunk and walked into the kitchen/living room part of the bus and opened up the cabinet, pulling out the first aid kit. Isn't sad that her band had to keep about eight first hand kits because she got herself. into so much trouble. It was bad, they always had to go to the hospital because of her constant fighting with inanimate objects. Why? She had a but of a temper of course. She threw chairs, glass bottles that came back and cut her hand open. Miraculously, she never did injure her hands so badly that she couldn't play guitar. If she did she would just die. Guitars were her life. She played them more than she played anything else. She sang too and sure they needed her vocals but they needed her amazing guitar skills more. She wasn't being conceited or anything, she just knew most of the solos and shit that the other guitarist didn't. Zui started taking out the anti bacterial cream and twisted open the cap, her drummer and brother were sitting on the couch, playing Call of Duty. She swore men and video games should be banned from certain places. She could never get the two to pay attention when they were playing that stupid game. "How's your hand?" Woah, someone was alive and actually speaking. Zui looked at her brother then back on her hand as she rubbed the antibacterial cream on it and took out the gauze, wrapping her knuckles up and taping it together. "Fine." She mumbled quietly as she put everything back. She heard him get off the couch and take one of her hands, unwrapping it and taking a look at the bleeding knuckles. "Jesus Zui." He muttered as he started cleaning the cuts again. She withdrew her hand from his and wrapped it back up again. "They'll keep bleeding leave it alone." She groaned as she cradled the hand to her chest and bit down on her lower lip. He shrugged and went back to playing the video games.

Zui sighed again and walked back to the bunk area. She was wearing the clothes she had on early. The white shirt was stained with blood. Oi vey, she needed to stop her little fighting stints. Or else everything would have blood on it. Great, that was a good shirt too. A aggravated sigh left her mouth as she crawled into her bunk and pulled out her bag, taking out a shirt and a pair of hot pink plaid jeans. She took everything to the back of the bus and started stripping off her bloody clothes and putting on new ones as she laced up her hot pink doc martens. She loved those boots like fucking candy. She should probably get to writing songs but she knew that wasn't going to happen soon. All her thoughts were jumbled up into a little ball. She couldn't untangle them or work them out of that little ball. Zui sighed again and moved the brown hair from her dark brown eyes. Putting her hand on her hips she looked around. God, what to do. Zui was always bored. Not that it was a bad thing. She just had nothing else to do. She wanted to be not so bored. But the TV was taken by two mindless shooting zombies who shoot...things all day. She couldn't play her little RPG games or that other one she had that she had to roll around a little ball and pick up things. She didn't know what the fuck it was called but it was incredibly addicting. Then the stupid balls of collected shit was turned into stars. The king or whatever had a HUGE fucking package. What the fuck was with video games and their half naked characters and shit? She had no idea. But it was fucking weird. It made her laugh though. Shit like that always made her laugh. That was why she enjoyed playing video games. Sometimes she played them for fun but now she couldn't...Stupid men. She made her way into the small bathroom where EVERYONE'S cosmetics were laid out on the counter. Getting artsy Zui started putting on a light amount of concealer with the sponge that was there from her drummer's make up bag. Gotta love the trannys. After she was satisfied with the job she put on black eyeliner on her bottom and top lid, around her eyes. The dark brown was brought out with the black, it looked red to her. The golden brown irises always had a odd color to them in the light. After she rubbed the little thing in the red eye shadow and gently did one of those winged type looks. After she was done with the other eye, she organized the make up and left the bathroom, running a bandage hand in her hair and sighing loudly. Now, what the hell was she going to do? She made herself all pretty for nothing. Depression hit her like a wall and she shook the feeling away, no need to be sad now Zui. She had nothing to be upset about right? Right.

Zui walked into the kitchen/living room part again and grabbed her favorite leather jacket from one of the chairs and slipped her phone into her jeans pocket. She might as well go out of a smoke right? Since she had nothing else to do. Zui sighed as she pulled out a few cigarettes from her brother's pack and grabbed a lighter. "I'll be back soon" She said as she ruffled her brother's hair and slid the jacket on. Walking out, Zui held the tiny cylinder in between her lips and flicked the flame on. Lighting the small tip and seeing it glow in the dark. She inhaled deeply and let the poisonous toxic smoke fill her lungs. As she opened her mouth to exhale she looked up at the sky and smiled. She always loved the stars. She took another drag and decided it would be good to head somewhere. She didn't know where but hey who cared right? As she was walking she kept her head down, Zui was not in the mood to speak to anyone after her little episode today. Her shoulder knocked into someone and the brunette jumped. "Oh sorry!" She exclaimed as she was still looking down, it was like she was telling the ground sorry for walking on it. She took another drag and sighed. Great.

notes||

[/font]rawr.[/size][/font]
words|| [/font]1138[/size][/font]
tags|| [/font]Mercedes [/size][/font]
status|| [/font]done[/size][/font]
outfit||[/font]click[/size][/font]
lyrics|| [/font]lost in stereo by all time low.[/size][/font][/left]
[/center]

[*MERCEDES NOELLE ROUSSEAU!]

As she continued to walk through the dark sky, she couldn't help but feel herself grow more content. There was something about the dark that always relaxed her. She was never sure what it was; whether it was just because it was generally dark when she was having the most fun, or if it was because of how easy it was to get away with things when there was darkness to cover you. Either way, it didn't matter too much to her. Just having something to calm her nerves was good enough for her. Sure, sitting in the bus drawing had helped, but after that one drawing, she wasn't exactly in the mood to do anymore. It seemed like every drawing she did had all of her current emotions put into it, and once she finished one, she had to go out and expierence new things before she could draw any more. Sure, she could always sit and try to decode her drawing and take things from that to make a new one, but that just wasn't her. Mercedes was never one to overthink things. She saw no point in it; why think about one thing over and over when there are so many things in the world to go expierence? Of course, that doesn't mean she hasn't tried to figure out her drawings before. Curiousity can be a bitch sometimes. Everytime she did try to figure them out, though, she'd just get more and more confused, making tons of guesses, but always having doubts on her guesses. After a while, she'd get so annoyed that it would piss her off, which is why she stopped trying to decode them.

Taking walks, though, never ceased to not entertain her. She knew a lot of people who took walks to think things through in their minds, but that wasn't really her. Sure, she still thought, but not about her problems. Instead, she thought about the one topic that never ceased to amaze her; life. There were so many things occuring every single second that it was crazy. Sometimes it was hard to grasp the concept of life, but it was the one thing she liked to continiously think about. As she walked, she walked rather slowly, passing by each individual tour bus as she continued to smoke her cigarette. With her free hand, she lightly dragged her hand against each bus, the cold touch of it causing goosebumps on her arms. She wondered how many people in each bus, and how many she had actually made interactions with. Probably none of them... she thought, knowing it was true. Ever since she had gotten to New York with the band, she had only stuck around with them. It wasn't that she was shy, hell, she was far from it; it was just that she wasn't exactly good at making friends. Mercedes spoke the truth, no matter how much it hurts. People talk all the time about how they want the truth, yet, when someone actually gives it to them, they claim that they're a bitch. She didn't care though, she had her band, and to her, that was her life and all she really needed. She wasn't exactly sure where she would be right now without them. Honestly, she'd probably be out partying or causing some type of mischive. Actually, she'd probably be doing both. It was what she was best at, afterall.

Though Mercedes didn't think about her own thoughts often, whenever the subject of life was brought up, she sort of related it to where she was currently in life. How many people would love to be where she was right now? Sure, she wasn't exactly a Lindsay Lohan or a Britney Spears, but her name was out there. Honestly, though, that didn't matter to her too much. What did matter, though, was that she was given the opportunity to share music with others. The reason Mercedes really didn't think about her feelings was because she left them for her music and drawings; not having any need to deal with them any other way. The one feeling she left for words was how grateful she was. If it wasn't for the band, her friends, and all her fans, she'd have no idea what to do with her life. To be able to travel, play guitar, and party without a care in her world; well, she wouldn't have it any other way. That was why she always took time to meet with fans. They were the ones that got her and her friends that far, and she owed them everything. There wasn't a day where Mercedes didn't go without realizing how grateful she was for them, which was probably why this thought currently jumped into her mind.

Finally, Mercedes cigarette ran out. She threw the butt on the ground before pulling out another, sticking it into her mouth and lighting it again. Tasting the smoke swirl in her mouth, she removed the cigarette, blowing the smoke out after it. Instead of putting her lighter away, she kept it in her other hand, continuing to flick it, the flame staying up for a few seconds before disappearing. She knew that continiously doing this would cause the lighter fluid to run out, but she didn't care. There were plenty of places where she could run out and get one for cheap. Plus, worse comes to worse, she knew that she could easily swipe one from someone in her bus. There were so many that they would probably never notice it missing. Mercedes continued to walk slow, one hand holding the cigarette she was still smoking, the other flicking the lighter continiously. Things were going nice and peaceful until someone bumped into her shoulder. She had thought she was alone, so when she was bumped into, she jumped, both her cigarette and lighter falling to the ground. "Fuck," she said, bending over to pick up the lighter, but leaving the half smoked cigarette on the ground. Once back up, she turned around, looking at the girl who had bumped into her. Sure, Mercedes had heard her apology, but as she looked at the girl, she realized that she hadn't even had the decency to look up and say it to her face. "You know, it's polite to look at a person when apoligizing. Then again, if you had been looking up in the first place, you wouldn't even have a need to apoligize," she said simply, her thoughts easily flowing from her mouth. Mercedes never really took the time to think before speaking, and honestly, she wasn't planning on changing that anytime soon. Mercedes looked the girl up and down, her sight landing on the girls hand that was bandaged up. Instantly, Mercedes assumed that she was a klutz. Her eyebrows raised, slightly amused at the fact.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

ooc - sorry there's a lot of rambling in this....
tagged - zui
words - 1140
outfit - click!
inspiration - underground; eminem

[*ZUI NIXON PHOENIX!]

``ZUI NIXON PHOENIX

[/font][/color][/size]

AND THAT'S JUST THE PRICE I PAY
when i don't even know her name
SHE'S SLIPPING AWAY

It never became a thought to Zui about how much trouble, she actually caused for the band. She fought other people with so much...Fire, one of these days she was going to actually kill someone. Not like it hadn't happened before. She had killed people. They were nobodies..or well, that was what she was told when she was sent to kill them. She shuddered as the memories just brought dark moments of her life. The blood on the hands was something she can never forget. Nightmares usually consisted of those memories that woke her up from a deep sleep, jolting ten feet into the air. It was...horrible. Terrifying and fucking breath taking at the same time. To have nightmares so real...But then remembering that none of them are real...At all. No one was cutting her into pieces with fire knives, no one was trying to kill her in the most twisted ways her mind could make up. She wasn't bleeding from every vein. She was fine, she was...okay. The only blood that she had seen today was Storm's and she had been the lovely cause of that. Oh violence. It wasn't pretty, especially on a petite girl like Zui. She was dangerous as far as she knew and knew it well. She had fought before no doubt. Knew how to use a gun and a knife if she ever had that particular urge to shoot someone. Heck, when didn't she have the urge to shoot someone? If murder was legal half the tour would be dead. Even though, the singers were dropping dead every where. Honestly, she couldn't believe it though, she would have killed so many people in one instant that she would probably be committed more than sent to jail. Her twisted sense of emotions would contribute to that. She had no control over anything in her. Her strength nor her fucking mouth. It happened all the time. Normally, it was other people who couldn't shut their fucking mouth. She automatically had to retaliate. It wasn't her if she didn't. It wouldn't be here if she didn't. That was just how she was and she was perfectly fine with it. Only a small handful hand a problem with Zui's blunt personality and they got over it....sometimes. If they didn't oh well, to bad. She had no pity for them. Of course, most people on the tour knew how Zui was. She was famous for her crazy stunts, her crazy behavior. How she manages to turn a simple argument into a brawl.

Her bandaged hand was the least of her worries now. She was actually proud of it. The split knuckles and all. She had enough of those kinds of injuries to understand the pain and get through it. Sure, they were sore but she was pretty happy for the reasons they were sore for. The punch was a absolute lovely hit. If she had even more power she wouldn't be surprised if the girl's cheek bone broke inside. That would ruin that skank's face. A small smirk pressed against her lips at the though. Jeez Zui, already thinking about bashing the girl's face in. That was Zui's specialty though. Making faces unrecognizable . God, the little skank was such a whiny bitch. It made her cringe. How could anyone deal with that? She couldn't understand it. How her band dealt with her? She wouldn't be able to take such a whiny bitch, holy fuck she'd shoot herself in the head before shooting her. That's how much Zui hated whiny people. She didn't know what it was but people older than her sounding like fucking babies got on her nerves. She never ever wanted to sound like that ever ever ever ever in her adult life. Even though she was only nineteen, sure, the girl had her moments of being a total whiner. But she didn't do it constantly and when she did...Well, she forgot. Most of the time she expressed her feelings by breaking things and throwing them into chairs or windows. Breaking glass bottles in a dumpster was something she did to clear her mind from all the anger. Something a therapist taught her. They helped a little. Most of the help was from her best friend though. Even though a little punch in someone's face was good therapy. Especially today, she felt like a weight was lifted after she slammed Storm in the face with her bare fists.

The first cigarette had been long gone as Zui took out her third. The nineteen year old chain smoked too much. This was stress. She was stressed out by this whole Trey thing. All she wanted to do now was to curl up into a ball and cry her eyes out. That wouldn't be like Zui though. The odd feeling balling up in her chest was certainly different though. She probably deserved this for being a bitch for about most of her life. Yelling and hurting people...and breaking things seemed to be the only thing she could do right. Playing guitar was another one but she felt like she was born to do that. Guitar took her to a completely different world like drugs did to people...or love. She was just so lost into playing that when she just played time flew by. One time she stayed up twenty four hours just playing guitar and writing music, never getting bored by how many different sounds you could make, or how many notes you could put together before you had a completely great song. That's how Zui thought of it as. It was funny, she wasn't looking for a fight tonight, but hell if she needed to be in one she'd do it in a blink of a eye. As the girl spoke, Zui looked up rolling her brown eyes. She wasn't in the mood to speak to someone and honestly, she didn't care if she was being rude. She followed the girl's gaze to her bandaged hand. Smirking she took another drag. Was Zui going to be a blunt bitch? Oh yeah. "Maybe you should of been looking too. Ever thought of that?" Her voice came out soft but with a hard edge. Shoving her bandaged hand into her pocket she flicked the cigarette to the ground and debating lighting another one up. Honestly, she was too stressed to even care.

notes||

[/font]rawr.[/size][/font]
words|| [/font]1061[/size][/font]
tags|| [/font]Mercedes [/size][/font]
status|| [/font]done[/size][/font]
outfit||[/font]click[/size][/font]
lyrics|| [/font]lost in stereo by all time low.[/size][/font][/left]
[/center]

[*MERCEDES NOELLE ROUSSEAU!]

As Mercedes continued her walk through the tour buses, she sort of wished that she had went out with everyone else. Sure, she was in a bad mood earlier, but now, she was in the mood for some sort of action. After all, partying was a pretty big part of her life. She wasn't exactly sure when she had gotten into the whole party scene, but she figured it was sometime in high school or right after she had met some of her current band members. When she first started high school, Mercedes life mainly consisted of acting up and getting in fights. She wasn't sure how many times she had gotten in fights during freshman year. More than what were accounted for in her record. Some people thought that her parents would eventually do something about it, but that really didn't happen. Her mother had been out of the picture for a couple years, and really didn't have much say in it anymore. Her father, on the other hand, was way too busy with work to discipline her. Instead, he just got her a guitar, explaining how he figured she could get her anger out through her music. She was pretty sure it was some random thing he got out of some parenting book, but where ever he got the idea from, she owed him for it. Her guitar was what got her to where she currently was, and in a way, it actually did help with her anger some. Maybe her father wasn't as bad as a parent like most thought. Then again, though, he never paid enough attention to realize her constant partying, which started her habits of smoking, drinking, and many casual one night stands. It's not like she regretted him not paying enough attention; she enjoyed her lifestyle. After all, life is short, so why sit around and not do anything with it? Sure, smoking and drinking tainted your mind, but it let you expierence things on a completely different level, one that she loved seeing as how carefree it made her feel.

When thinking about life, Mercedes could never really figure out the meaning of it. What was the purpose of life, the highs and the lows, the pain and the joy. There had to be some point behind it, right? Some people believed that it was to prepare you for bigger and better things after, but she wasn't exactly sure of all of that. Whatever it was, though, she hoped she was doing it right. Sure, partying and getting in trouble were generally looked down on upon society, but it's not like they knew if it was right or wrong either. In fact, they probably had no idea. No one really knew. There was one thing she knew she was doing right, though, and that was playing her guitar. There wasn't a day that went by where she had any doubts about sharing music with the world. When she had her guitar in hand, mending notes together to make sounds, everything seemed right. In fact, everything about being in this band seemed right. The people, the music, the expierences. Sometimes, she figured that this was what she was born for, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

Though she had already smoked one cigarette, she pulled out another. It was true, Mercedes was addicted to cigarettes, along with a few other things, but that was besides the point. She was pretty sure the first few times she smoked was when she was drunk, and after that, it just stuck with her. The smoke running through her system never ceased to amaze her. As she lit the second cigarette, she contined slowly walking, enjoying the peace of the night. That was disturbed when she felt someone bump into her, making her jump. What was she to expect, though? Were there really that many people that walked around outside at such a weird hour? Once the girl responded to her thoughts, Mercedes raised her eyebrows. Generally, people would back down and walk away, but obviously this girl wasn't. Not like it phased her or anything. She hadn't done anything. "True, but I'm not the one that ran into someone, now was I? Besides, I'm not in a videogame, so why would I expect that I'd have to dodge little, annoying things?" Sure, Mercedes was acting like a bitch, but she didn't care. She wasn't one of those girls who would try to act all sweet to avoid getting into trouble. Why be fake? Besides, she knew how to handle herself. It wasn't that she told the truth so that everyone would hate her. In all honesty, it was sort of the opposite. Mercedes took the statement 'what goes around comes around' to heart. She always wished to be surrounded by people who wouldn't be afraid of telling her the truth, which is why she always told the truth to others. If people couldn't handle getting it, then she figured that they couldn't handle giving it either, so what's the point of being nice to them? As she stood there, she wondered if the girls response was because she also didn't care telling the truth, or if she just wanted to be a bitch back to Mercedes bitchness. She wasn't exactly sure, but she assumed it was the second one, seeing as most people didn't have the decency to be honest.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

ooc - sorry it's kinda short, : p.
tagged - zui
words - 904
outfit - click!
inspiration - idgaf; breathe carolina

[*ZUI NIXON PHOENIX!]

``ZUI NIXON PHOENIX

[/font][/color][/size]

AND THAT'S JUST THE PRICE I PAY
when i don't even know her name
SHE'S SLIPPING AWAY

Why was she always alone...The voice came back. Not just any voice his voice. She couldn't help but let it invade her mind. " People use you Zoozoo bird. They don't like you. Your brother and sister hate you. They blame you for everything. Storm is better than you. She knows she is and you know it to. You're just a stupid little girl. " Fucking voice, it needed to shut up. Zoozoo bird, she hated that fucking name. ZooZoo was fine. But not ZooZoo bird. She fucking despised it. She despised it so much she wanted to shoot herself for even letting his voice get to her. Her hand went to her wrists as she rubbed them. "Haven't I given you enough blood today?" She thought to him, she didn't want to say it out loud people would think she was crazy, which wasn't....that..odd for her. She was pretty sure she was a bit insane...maybe that was a lie. But she didn't kill people, well she did but that was a few years ago and her last kill was to save herself...or well, she was going to die too if the cops didn't get there right as they were about to. Like they were told to. She hated that, how the cops came right in time to hinder her death. Something she wanted to happen so badly back then. She didn't want it anymore though, she saw how many people relied on her for things. She couldn't just leave them now. It would hurt her brother, her sister, Amanda, Hayden and the rest of the band and crew. She couldn't forget about Trey...But that's what sparked the voice to come back stronger didn't it? Storm's fucking mouth. Growling she took a deep drag, needing to feel the poison. Fuck, she was suppose to stop smoking yesterday. River bugged her about it and she hated the thought of losing her cigarettes.


The voice...wouldn't shut up though. " All you were ever good for was for cutting. You were such a pretty doll to cut up and put back together hmm ZooZoo bird? Didn't you think you were pretty like Sally after it was over." Zui closed her eyes and tried to push it out of her mind. Did she ever figure out that maybe that was the source of her anger? That maybe it was the only thing that was keeping her from going totally insane.No, she was insane. She was sure of it. She was hearing voices for christ sakes. She was going fucking crazy and keeping it a secret. Her brother and sister had no idea...what really happened. Honestly, they thought her and James were just fine and dandy. BFFs right? Yeah right, he tortured her for the fun of it because she believed he loved her. She rolled her eyes, how could she be so stupid? That was so easy answered though. Because she was stupid and believed everything he shoved at her. He was her right hand when she was fighting because no one could say James was a better fighter. She wished she could of stabbed him right there. Then the crash came and she held him at gun point. He stabbed her in the side. She had told them to crash the car into theirs to kill the both of them because she couldn't live with the guilt knowing she killed her 'best' friend and look where that got her. Her whole bottom half was crushed in steel and her five inch pieces of glass cut through her. They dragged her out of the car and tried to beat her to death, she wanted it slow and then the cops came just in time, before the final hit. She was pretty sure she was dead until they brought her to the hospital. She was there for at least two months. She had the scars to prove it too. She hated them, they were just reminders even though half of them never came from the accident. Most of them came from James.

So, in addition to her already bad temper and bad day, she was hearing the voices. 'Fuck...my life' She groaned. She did not feel like ripping someone's head on the head. Zui just rolled her eyes and flicked the cigarette away. Yawning, Zui wasn't that ready to get into a fight. She didn't care...but right now her anger was high up there. "Look, I said I was sorry, stop bitching because I don't care." God, she was so tired of people bitching and moaning. She had to deal with that little bitch when Zui beat the crap out of her. Honestly, she couldn't handle this. She was about to rip someone's head off. Zui took out another cigarette and lit it, blowing the smoke out of the girl's face. She inhaled again. Hey, at least she was nice enough not to do that. She wasn't entirely a bitch even though she wasn't trying to be a bitch. She was just trying to tell the girl that she just bumped into her on accident and if it was anyone's fault it was both of theirs because hey, they both weren't looking. Sighing, Zui looked at the ground. "If we were to blame anyone it would be both of us because both us weren't looking." She stated as she ran a hand through her hair.

notes||

[/font]rawr.[/size][/font]
words|| [/font]1061[/size][/font]
tags|| [/font]Mercedes [/size][/font]
status|| [/font]done[/size][/font]
outfit||[/font]click[/size][/font]
lyrics|| [/font]lost in stereo by all time low.[/size][/font][/left]
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